What is virginity and why is it a harmful myth

The concept of "virginity" is deeply ingrained as a measure of people’s worth in many cultures. But we want to be clear: virginity, as it is commonly understood, is a harmful myth.

Virginity is not a biological or medical fact, but rather a social construct, an idea created and maintained by society to control and regulate bodies and sexualities. It is a concept steeped in patriarchal history, designed to define a person's value based on whether or not they have engaged in typically heterosexual penetrative sex.

At Aya Contigo, we believe that your value is not defined by outdated myths, but by your right to information and autonomy over your own body. Download our app to access evidence-based, non-judgmental sexual and reproductive health resources with a perspective that celebrates your right to decide and take care of yourself. 

The dangers of purity culture

Historically, the emphasis on female virginity was tied to the transfer of property and the assurance of paternity within patriarchal structures. A woman's "purity" was seen as guaranteeing that her children were her husband's heirs. 

Purity culture has made it to our days, driven mainly by religious organizations. The harmful impacts of the virginity myth are far-reaching because it creates a culture of shame around sex and bodies, leading people to feel guilt or inadequacy based on their sexual history or lack thereof. 

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“In purity culture, women are responsible for the men around them. A woman must not arouse a man, and if she is assaulted or desire is expressed for her, she is the one to blame and must have done something to make him think that way.”, said Linda Kay Kein, a recovery coach specialized in purity culture. 

There is even “purity balls”, events that can look like a wedding but are designed for girls to promise their parents they are not going to have sex. 

Diversity is seen as a “sin”

“These ideas damage all those involved. For one, those who abide by purity culture’s rules must conform to strict and binary gender roles. Homosexuality — and any identity falling under the 2SLGBTQ+ umbrella — is seen as a sin, making heterosexual desire the only “right” path.”, declared Kay. 

The pressure to maintain "virginity" can discourage individuals from exploring their sexuality, seeking contraception, or getting tested for STIs, since they can see these options as shameful. It can also contribute to negative experiences with sex due to anxiety and misinformation.

Aya Contigo has a test available so you can choose the contraception that feels right for you, according to your schedule, lifestyle, and preferences. You can take the test here. 

The virginity narrative also excludes and marginalizes individuals whose sexual experiences don't fit into a narrow, heteronormative definition, including LGBTQ+ individuals and survivors of sexual violence.

The nightmare of virginity tests

The persistent belief that virginity can be medically proven, often through the presence or absence of a hymen, is false and harmful. The hymen is a piece of tissue that can vary in elasticity and may be affected by many activities unrelated to sex.

Virginity tests are a practice widely denounced by the WHO and UN as a human rights violation, and are still performed in various countries, primarily in Asia, the Middle East, and parts of Africa, including Afghanistan, Egypt, India, Indonesia, Iran, and South Africa.

These tests, often involving invasive "two-finger" examinations, occur in diverse circumstances: for military and police recruitment like formerly in Indonesia, though was banned by the army in 2022, as a prerequisite for marriage or to "prove" virginity on wedding nights, and sometimes in legal cases related to sexual assault or for other social control purposes.

At Aya Contigo, we advocate for a view of sexual health that is empowering, inclusive, and free from judgment. Let's dismantle the harmful myth of virginity and embrace a future where everyone feels empowered to make choices about their sexual and reproductive health without shame or fear.

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