What does a healthy relationship look like? Hint: It's more than just cute selfies

It is not a selfie together or going Instagram official. A healthy relationship is about equality. It is about two or more individuals coming together as equals, respecting each other's autonomy, dreams, and boundaries. 

And this is not very mainstream, unfortunately. Romantic love and toxic traits in relationships have been idealized for centuries, setting the base for generations of people entangled in abusive behavior, violence and unhealthy patterns and bonds that left them feeling shattered, lost, or empty.  

This is why it is so important to learn how to spot these harmful behaviors and create more fulfilling and rewarding relationships.

A healthy relationship involves care, respect, and informed choices about your body and health. Aya Contigo is your dedicated virtual companion designed to support your sexual and reproductive health needs. Download it here:

Tips for a healthier love

• Shared power, not power over: No one person calls all the shots. Decisions are made together, considering everyone's feelings and needs. Your voice matters, your partner's voice matters, and you both have a right to be heard and valued.

  
  

• Mutual respect (non-negotiable): Respect for who you are, your opinions, your space, and your choices. This includes respecting your past, your present, and your future goals. Disagreements happen, but they're handled with respect, not shouting put-downs.

  
  

• Celebrating individuality: A healthy relationship does not mean losing yourself. You should feel encouraged to pursue your passions, maintain your friendships, and be exactly who you are. Your partner is your biggest cheerleader, and you are theirs!

  
  

Sexual and reproductive rights in a healthy relationship

Your sexual and reproductive rights are about your ability to make decisions about your own body and your reproductive health, without coercion, discrimination, or violence. You can get a great guide from Chayn here so you can recognize the signals of manipulation. 

In a healthy relationship, it means:

• Consent, every single time: This is the golden rule. Consent isn't just the absence of a "no." It is an active, enthusiastic "yes!" It needs to be freely given, informed, and can be withdrawn at any time. No pressure, no guilt trips, no assumptions.

  
  

• Open communication about sex and health: Talking about sex, contraception, STIs, and your reproductive health goals should be a comfortable and ongoing conversation. You should feel safe to discuss your desires, your concerns, and your boundaries without shame or judgment.
  

• Support for your health choices: Your partner should support your decisions about your sexual and reproductive health, whether that's choosing to use contraception, deciding about pregnancy, or accessing healthcare. 
  

• Respecting boundaries around sex and affection: You get to decide what you're comfortable with, physically and emotionally. A healthy partner respects those boundaries, always.
  

Communication is key; healthy relationships thrive on open, honest, and kind dialogue. This involves actively listening, clearly expressing your needs and feelings, and handling conflicts constructively by talking through disagreements respectfully to find understanding and solutions together, rather than just fighting to win.

Read - Did you know that toxic masculinity can aggravate erectile dysfunction?

Spotting the red flags

Just as important as knowing what a healthy relationship looks like is being able to spot the signs that something isn't right. Pay attention to:

• Control and jealousy: Does your partner try to control who you see, what you do, or what you wear? Excessive jealousy and possessiveness are not signs of love.
  

• Disregard for your boundaries or consent: If your partner doesn't respect your "no" or tries to pressure you into anything you're not comfortable with, that's not okay.
  

• Belittling or disrespecting you: Do they make fun of you, put down your ideas, or make you feel small? A partner should lift you up, not tear you down.

  
  

• Isolation: Do they try to distance you from your friends and family? Healthy relationships enhance your life, they don't shrink it.

  
  

Sometimes these are signs of an abusive dynamic. Spotting domestic violence means understanding that it is a pattern of behaviors used to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner, extending far beyond physical harm. 

Read - What is virginity and why is it a harmful myth

Be aware of indicators like isolation from friends and family, constant criticism and degradation, threats, manipulation, excessive jealousy, control over finances, or any signs of fear and coercion. Recognizing these red flags is a vital step towards seeking help or supporting someone experiencing abuse.

If you think you or someone you know may be subject of domestic violence, you can find help and resources in English and Spanish. 

Building your healthy connections

No relationship is perfect; it is all about learning and growing. Building healthy relationships takes effort, communication, and a commitment to treating each other with respect and equality. 

By understanding what a healthy relationship looks like, especially through the lens of your rights and autonomy, you are empowered to build connections that are not only fulfilling but also truly supportive of who you are.

In Aya Contigo, we are here to provide you with support in your sexual and reproductive choices. 

🌈 Find more information about Aya Contigo: https://hola.ayacontigo.org/ 

⏬ Access to the app here: https://hola.ayacontigo.org/en/get-the-app